10 Questions to Ask Instead of "How Was School?" (That Actually Get Kids Talking)
Now that school is back in session, afternoons are full of sports practices, music lessons, homework, and figuring out what's for dinner. Before you know it, the day is over, and you realize you actually never heard about your child's day!
So, you ask:
Parent: "How was school?"
Child: "Fine."
...and just like that, the conversation is over. Sound familiar?
"How was school?" is actually a pretty big question. It asks your child to remember an entire day, decide what was important, organize their thoughts, and explain it—all on the spot. For many children, especially those with language difficulties, ADHD, autism, or executive functioning challenges, that's a lot to ask! Even children with strong language skills may not know where to begin.
The good news? You don't have to stop asking about their day—you just may need to ask differently. A few simple, specific questions can spark more conversations while naturally building your child's speech and language skills.
Why Specific Questions Work
Think about when someone asks, "How was your day?" Chances are, you answer, "Good," without much thought. Now compare that to questions like “How was your coffee this morning?” or “ What was your favorite part of your weekend?”. They're easier to answer because they give you a specific memory to focus on.
The same is true for children!
Specific questions make it easier to start a conversation and often lead to more meaningful answers. Instead of stopping at one word, children have the opportunity to describe an event, explain what happened, use new vocabulary, and practice telling stories.
Those everyday conversations do more than help build speech and language skills, they help you learn about your child's world. Whether you're chatting in the car, over dinner, or at bedtime, those few minutes of conversation can strengthen your connection and create lasting memories.
10 Questions to Ask Instead
We love these conversation starters because they support communication skills without feeling like "work." Try asking one or two during a relaxed moment—on the drive home from school, during an evening walk, while sharing a snack, or as part of your child's bedtime routine.
What made you smile today?
What was the best part of your day?
What was the hardest part of your day?
Did anything surprise you today?
What was the most interesting thing you learned?
What made you feel proud today?
Tell me about something you made, built, drew, or wrote today.
What's one thing you wish I knew about your day?
What are you excited about tomorrow?
What was the funniest thing that happened today?
Tips for Making After-School Conversations Easier
No quizzing! Your goal isn't to ask a series of questions or get the "right" answers—it's to enjoy a conversation and connection with your child.
Share about your own day first. Telling your child about something that happened to you models conversation and encourages them to share in return.
Make it fun! Throw in a silly question every now and then. Try, "Would you rather eat school lunch forever or pack your lunch every day?" or "If you were the teacher tomorrow, what would be your first rule?"
Mix up the question style. Not every question has to be open-ended. Try asking, "On a scale of 1–10, how was your day?" Then follow up with, "What made it a 7?" or "What would have made it a 10?"
SLP Tips for Children Who Need Extra Communication Support
If your child has difficulty sharing about their day, answering questions, or keeping a conversation going, these strategies can help make communication feel easier:
Offer visual supports when needed. Visuals can help children remember and organize their thoughts. Try looking at pictures from the school day, such as photos shared by their teacher, classroom updates, or pictures your child brings home, and use them as a starting point for conversation.
Choices can help children get started. Instead of asking a broad question like, "What did you eat for lunch?" try offering options: "Did you eat pizza or chicken for lunch today?".
Ask one question at a time. Multiple questions or follow-ups at once can feel overwhelming.
Give extra time to respond. Some children need additional processing time before they know what they want to say. A pause doesn't mean they aren't communicating.
Celebrate all communication. Words are just one way children share their thoughts. Gestures, AAC, drawings, facial expressions, and other forms of communication all count.
Find the right setting. Some children communicate more easily while playing, walking, riding in the car, or doing an activity together than during a face-to-face conversation.
One Small Change Can Make a Big Difference
"How was school?" isn't a bad question—it just may be too broad to get the conversation started.
A more specific question can help your child share their thoughts, tell stories, and give you a glimpse into their day. These everyday conversations build communication skills while strengthening your connection with your child.
If your child continues to have difficulty with sharing their thoughts or participating in conversations, a speech-language evaluation can help identify their strengths, needs, and provide strategies to support communication.
Contact us today for a free consultation!